7.If You Don’t Listen to Me, I Swear I’ll Just Fly Off on My Magic Carpet!
One can only imagine how captivating this lady’s prepared remarks made against a stiff wind must have been, because the guy with the camera was obviously much more impressed by the coincidental weirdness of the shadow to her left. And judging by the apparent lack of an attentive audience anywhere nearby—even the guys with the flags in the background are keeping their distance from the sound of her voice—flying away would have made for a much better show.
6. Momma, Can I Have a Bite Too?
We all know how tasty those single-engine Cessnas can be, as evidenced here on the Serengeti, a savage land where monstrous, genetically-altered wildlife roam in search of full-sized locomotives, trucks, and the occasional low-flying aircraft to sustain the herd. This photographer, obviously no slouch in the “here comes a plane, get the camera out” department, took great advantage of forced perspective and a couple of compliant giraffes.
5. A Young Father on the Way to the E.R.
“Don’t worry, Honey! We’re just playing!” will undoubtedly be the last words from this young father as he trains his firstborn son to follow in the footsteps of Evel Knievel. Clearly on his way to orthopedic surgery and a major skull fracture, the boy appears to have a substantial forehead on him, so when the surgeons remove bone fragments, he’ll very possibly still resemble a human. Sadly, however, he’ll probably have the brain of his father. And the likely co-conspirator in this episode of child abuse? The mother, who is undoubtedly taking the picture.
4. Is This Just the Best Frickin’ Wedding I’ve Ever Been To or WHAT?
What’s a bridesmaid for, if not to catch the leg of the bride as she drunkenly tumbles backward off a cliff? If this is the wedding, we can only imagine what the bachelorette party was like…and wonder why we weren’t invited! We must applaud the wedding photographer, however: rather than help the poor girl avoid certain death on the rocks below, he got the shot. And that’s what he gets paid for, right?
3. The Museum Photographer at Work
When shooting priceless antiquities in a pristine museum setting, the Number One Rule is to walk softly, speak softly, and don’t use a flash. Clearly, this gentleman is following that rule to a T, working with whisper-quiet to capture the image of…a silly vase or something. Now if only the museum staff knew how to design an exhibit so that visitors of a “certain stature” could move about freely without bumping their fat butts into stuff.
2. Glass door? What glass door?
Hey, when you’ve got a to-go order in your hands and someone’s waiting for the goodies, you just have to put your head down, ignore the warning signs, and go. It’s hard to say what’s more distressing here: the fact that we’re not going to get our milkshakes or the fact that this girl is going to have a shiner that will make her look like Rhonda Roussey after her last fight. The black eye will heal. But sadly, those milkshakes are goners.
1. You Can’t Have My Fries, You Big Jackass!
Our hats are off to this young man who is clearly defending his turf from the braying onslaught of a buck-toothed predator. With an expression riding the thin line between outrage, disgust, and abject fear, we suspect that the donkey hauled ass out of there…and the screaming kid will listen to the tour guide the next time he says “keep the windows rolled up.”